What I Thought I Had Thought After I've Been Thinking About Running and Actually Ran

Today I ran.
Well, you know me.
I never like running or any other sport.
I just like the sweat running through my baby hair down to the gentle jaw line I barely have.
I supposed to be running at this court where most people in town run their soul away there.
But it was closed.
Who the fuck closed a public running court?
It should not have closed.
I should have expected less.
So I traced back my way back and
I found a football yard, not so far from my house.
There were rented cars parked there
But it was surrounded with quiet streets and a few houses.
If you walk ahead to the South, you can find a cul-de-sac with bushes decorating a grey wall.
I always love cul-de-sac
Just like how I love aisles of supermarket where I can play hide and seek with whomever concerning my game.
I ran from 4.16 to 5.18 p.m
I didn’t go all the way through every aisle and street, I just ran back and forth from the cul-de-sac to the football yard and vice versa.
There was no one around
Well, except a grandpa with his two grandson playing kites together.
That was so cute.
I said “hi” to them.
Thank goodness it wasn’t awkward.
I wasn’t awkward.
After running,
I took a rest and laid my feet on a corner of the football yard.
I played a song by The Clientele through the headset connected to my phone.
The sun was setting
The sky was poured in powder pink with a gradient of violet
I saw birds fleeting to the West
But then they stopped for awhile up there
It seemed like a kite was blocking their way
It was the grandpa’s kite
Did he intentionally leave it floating up there?
Did his grandsons do not want to bring it home?
Are kites always ended up floating in the sky?
To hell with it, I do not find the answer.
Then I went back home, took a bath, made a cup of green tea, and took a short walk from kitchen to my room.
Then I write
It’s been awhile since I write here
I’ve been keeping my daily life in my own journal for the past one year or so or less or more
I wish I could get a fuck tonight
That’s a random thought, though
A random thought that keeps popping in my filthy mind
But nah, not tonight
I dedicated tonight for myself; for the movies I haven’t watched yet been kept for so long in the hard disk, for the books I’ve abandoned because I choose to read the others when the character’s dying; for the tea bag I want to brew yet I forgot I bought it a while ago; for the coffee cup I left under my bed as I have so many excuses to put it in the dishwasher; for the mess I make in my room as I always think I do not have time to put my shit together.

Tonight I don’t get a fuck
and I don’t give a fuck either.

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