For Late-Night Phone Calls

I'm not that kind of person
who writes a break up poem.
I thought.
But, apparently, I'm just as cheesy as that.

I want you to know that
I once loved you.
You've been a great friend.
And those nights we spent by
watching DVDs, tickling each other,
and curling in bed until the next morning.
Well, let's just wrap them in a box
and let them sink there.

I'm sorry that it didn't turn out
as what you have expected.
I know, it's me who went wrong.
After all the fight, tears and puffy eyes
Apparently... we didn't work.
I've done my best to keep the fire inside me
sparkling and fiery.
But, feelings change, I change.

The memories keep hailing from the road behind my back.
They look so beautiful as if it was always good with you.
Remember when we tried to fuck in the bath tub and
instead, ended up by having soap fight?
Remember our silly fight that night?
I was so hard to be pleased and you just couldn't take it anymore.
Remember our late night long distance phone calls
and counting down the days on the calendar?
Remember how I just wanted to scream to you,
but all I did was just crying?
Yes, the memories were not always good.
But the love was.
Anyway, nostalgia is just an oasis.
The truth lies underneath it.

Someday we won't romanticize all those memories again.
I'm just gonna be one of those girls
you dreamed of being the mother of your children.
It was really sweet for you to think of that.
I can't even picture myself being a mom.
What kind of mom am I gonna be?

So, I wish you well.
I wish you to live your dream, happily living with your parents,
and a kinder woman to treat you.

Till then.

I'm sorry that things didn't work out
as you had expected before.
I wanted to give you solemn sleep and kisses in dreams,
but instead, i gave you insomnia and cries in nightmares.
I'm sorry I couldn't be the star you would wish on and on
upon the night sky.
Instead, I dashed into million pieces of star burst
that you couldn't keep into your hands.
I'm sorry I couldn't be the northern star that
leads you into your way home.
I'm just a dead neon lamp that
makes you lost into nowhere.